


no light, no light

by only_more_love



Series: 2020 Cap-Ironman Bingo, Round 1 [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Canonical Character Death, Complicated Relationships, M/M, Not A Happy Ending, Stony Bingo, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:13:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25635601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/only_more_love/pseuds/only_more_love
Summary: They fuck only in shadow.Written as a fill for the Cap-IM Bingo 2020 - "Writing Format: Missing Scene/Epilogue/Coda" Square.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: 2020 Cap-Ironman Bingo, Round 1 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1649818
Comments: 33
Kudos: 48
Collections: Captain America/Iron Man Bingo





	no light, no light

They fuck only in shadow.

Seven days after Tony returns to Earth, when his skin has only just begun to take on a healthier pallor, Steve leaves a trail of busted heavy bags in his wake in the training room. In his night-dark room, in his bed, he finds Tony.

On his knees: “Tony?”

“No lights, Cap.” Tony’s breath warms the skin at Steve’s throat, but his words hold so little inflection they frost the cavern in Steve’s chest where a heart used to reside. “Take it or leave it.”

Compromise has always been anathema, but is it compromise when Tony licks the blood from Steve’s knuckles, and Steve’s cock jerks in his pants?

“Take.” _Always._

* * *

_  
_ “Rule # 1: No kissing on the mouth.”

“What if I don’t like that rule?” Steve asks because his stubbornness is as limitless as the raw-edged wound he carved into his own chest, past layers of skin and muscle, when he left Tony in Siberia. 

As Tony laughs, his breath brushes Steve’s skin in a mockery of tenderness, and Steve had loved that sound before—felt a warm flash of pride at being the reason for Tony’s amusement, once. “Tough shit.” Tony’s response snags on the barbed end of his laugh. “You don’t like it, you can leave. I’m not holding you hostage.” There is no warmth to be found here—only the clatter of icicles shattering on an unforgiving stone floor. 

Steve shivers, but he grinds his teeth together so they won’t chatter. Sometimes he wonders if he’ll ever be warm again. 

“Rule # 2: Don’t think this changes anything.” 

Even though he knows better, Steve doesn’t shut his mouth. “What’s in this for you?” he asks.

“What? Getting a piece of Captain America’s fine ass isn’t enough?”

He doesn’t flinch at the crudeness. “Be straight with me, Tony.”

Tony’s eyes narrow, glinting in the moon-cut darkness. “Oh, that’s rich,” he answers, silky and dangerous, “coming from you.” In the pause that follows, Steve hears the ticking of both their hearts that seems like it should herald an explosion. “Fine. Consider it exorcising a demon.”

This time, Steve flinches.

_Am I the demon?_

Too afraid to hear the answer in Tony's rough-amber voice, Steve doesn’t ask the question, which melts into a gasp, and soon, as Tony nips at the pulse in his throat, he shudders for an entirely different reason.

* * *

  
  
On the battlefield, beneath layers of smoke and carnage, under the bright-hot thrum of bloodlust and exhaustion, Steve catches flickers of red and ash-covered gold on the edge of his vision. 

The arc reactor’s bright light stutters and dims, and Pepper’s head dips low as she curls over Tony. Her body arcs in a parenthesis, a shield, not the period at the end of the sentence of Tony’s life that Steve senses floating on the choking breeze. 

(Sometimes Steve thinks he forgot how to pray—lost the ability—when Bucky tumbled into an icy ravine.)

Steve watches the indefinable something that makes Tony who he is, leach out of his eyes and his body.  
  
_Leave him, please, and take me instead._

The wind gusts, and Steve sways on his feet before falling to his knees, bile a hot, bitter tide in his throat. 

God has never answered his prayers.

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like to share it, this fic is [on Tumblr](https://onlymorelove.tumblr.com/post/625192140470894592/read-below-the-cut-or-on-ao3-they-fuck-only-in). 
> 
> Thanks for reading. Comments and kudos are much appreciated, should you choose to leave them, and I respond to all comments, though sometimes it takes me a while. If you don't feel like commenting, I still hope you enjoyed this. :) Be well. 
> 
> You can find me at [onlymorelove.tumblr.com](http://onlymorelove.tumblr.com). Come talk to me if you like. I do not bite. :) Sometimes you can also find me on Discord.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] no light, no light](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26794507) by [only_more_love](https://archiveofourown.org/users/only_more_love/pseuds/only_more_love)




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